Note From A Dearest Friend

:')

What I Learn

A relationship might not always work, but the life lessons you get out of it are irreplacable.

@k0nnyaku 

I learn to be unselfish

I learn to love wholeheartedly

I learn that every wounds will be healed

And the most important thing that I learn from what we had is too much is never good

Day 12

whoaa I never thought that I could make it through the first week, but now it's already been 12 days.
Blunt, that's what I am now. Zero, that's my status quo. Zero hope, zero heartbreak but I'm fine with that. This is just the phase where I've taken step to move on but I don't know exactly where I'm heading. I'm not lost, I'm just zero and that means that I'm ready to start again. I just don't know what I'm going to do next. All I've been doing is just letting it flow. Laughing with mates, Doing whatever I want, Cursing, Just anything that can distract me from thinking about what I've been through. I'm just keeping my self from grieving because it's obvious that he's one step ahead, he's already moving on. That's why I pulled my self out of the black hole and get my self moving on too beause there will be no use if I'm still grieving.

And yeah...Happy (failed) First-Monthsary :')
I wish I could go back to the day I met you...and walk the hell away :*

Karma : What Goes Around... / ...Comes Around

So why your love went away

I just can't seem to understand

Thought it was me and you babe

Me and you until the end

But I guess I was wrong

Don't want to think about it

Don't want to talk about it

I'm just so sick about it

Can't believe it's ending this way

Just so confused about it

Feeling the blues about it

I just can't do without ya

Tell me is this fair?

Is this the way it's really going down?

Is this how we say goodbye?

Should've known better when you came around

That you were gonna make me cry

It's breaking my heart to watch you run around

'Cause I know that you're living a lie

That's okay baby 'cause in time you will find

What goes around, goes around, goes around 

Comes all the way back around

"What Goes Around... / ...Comes Around Interlude", Justin Timberlake 

Moments of laughter and smile

Skyfall

November 24, 2012

Our class went for a trip. The trip that should be a fun trip if only we were still together. Because you promised me to take a picture of us together but I guess promises are made to be broken.
We went out of town to study the past and erm...the word past tickled the hole inside of me that had been longing for my attention. So yeah I gave them a little taste of satisfaction by staring at your back and watching you from distance.

I had something else to do too beside watching the back of your head but that only lasted for awhile. You crossed my mind soon after I forgot about you. I laughed with my friends but then gravity pulled me to the earth and I was busy again watching your posture from afar but hey it's not like I'm stalking you or anything. I only gave my hunger a little bit of satisfaction so the hole wouldn't  feel hurt that much but actually it was making it worse.

I've had shit days and that day was one of them. Mates wanted to watch skyfall and I felt uneasy and aware of the effect that would come along with the film, a super massive nostalgia, fully-loaded with the crucial memory. I physically already felt exhausted but God wanted me to face anything, not excluded watching the first movie we ever watched together when we are already in a different phase. I'm built to face anything but this. So I spent the way home trying to fall asleep rather than spending my time watching the movie and recalling everything but then questions popped up.

Does he remember that we watched this movie together?
Does him also experience this? A nostalgia, a flashback.
What does he feel about it?

Up until now those questions are still floating in my mind, seeking for an answer. But where can I get the answers for that? While you barely even looking at me. So if miracle did happen, answer this. Do you experience flashback like I do?

Day 7

It's been a roller coaster after the text you sent.
First day, second day, I was trying hard not to show the effect of an end and I did it.
The following days were pretty busy for social activity of mine and it kept me from thinking.
The fourth day, the first day of school after a long weekend Islamic New Year holiday. Before I went to school , I got anxious and worry because when you said that you want it to end, we hadn't seen each other whilst like in an hour, dad was ready to drive me. I had nothing to do but to convince my self that everything is going to be okay even though I knew that the probability of not having a social interaction with you, was one in a million because we still have a year to be classmates.
I've been trying to get used to with the curious eyes. I see question and concern in the eyes of my mates. at first I didn't want to respond to their attention but that'd be rude. So yeah I try my best to retell the story and try to feel fine whenever the hole inside of me is asking more attention, though I feel uncomfortable to be questioned about us but I can't runaway from them.
it's been a week but I don't know if it gets any better or else because not like the first nor the second days, I've been replaying back our moments and feel a little bit lost. There is a part of me that says I'll waste my time to even think about you but the other part is more like the weak. She still misses the time when we were just two little lovebirds.
I guess even though I post so many crap about being strong after going through a break up, actually I still feel it, the sensation of the first time reading the text you sent to end the shit. I have a hole inside of me now, complete with a scar, thanks for that and yeah I still remember the scent of your jacket which has ability to break me in a snap. Sometimes when my mind drifts away, it has nowhere to go but to a place where I store our memories and I have to keep reminding my self that I should hate every piece of them because what we had back then is all made up.

But I know I'll be okay. I just don't know when. and that time, I won't even flinch at your name ever again . I'll go on even if the most familiar things try to pull me to the past, I'm sure that I would have been even better, I'll be careful not to fall in love with the wrong guy, I'll be smarter and we will be classmates with no social interaction if that's what you want us to be. I won't care

Broken Arrow

This time she's gonna fix her heart and make it bullet proof

This time she's gonna get real, love the skin she's in 

She said this time that she is built to face anything  

This time she's gonna pick herself up no more breaking down

This time she's gonna raise her head choose the righteous path

Broken Arrow, The Script 

It Was Only A Papercut :)

Speaking of what has happened to me, I found this song to be exactly like how I feel after yeah you know what happen :) It is called Papercut and it is  from the album Battlefield (Deluxe Version).
So this would be like another soundtrack to help me get through all the shits that stand in the way. Yeah Ms.Sparks thanks for the song :)

I’m okay, I’m okay
Don’t keep asking me I might disintegrate
What do you want? I’ve moved on
Everything is going well, at least that’s what I tell myself
I wish I was the tin man, so I wouldn’t have a heart to break.

I’m okay, I’ll survive.
I only think about you half of the time
All these tears, all these drops in the ocean baby
You barely even cross my mind no, no
And it doesn’t hurt that much
It was only a paper cut

It’s only a paper cut, a paper cut... (yeah)

I forget that it’s there
You keep calling and calling, you don’t care
How it burns, how it stings

Just cause you can’t see it bleed
Doesn’t mean it don’t go deep

I wish I was the tin man, so I wouldn’t have a heart to break.

I’m okay, I’ll survive.
I only think about you half of the time
All these tears, all these drops in the ocean baby
You barely even cross my mind no, no
and it doesn’t hurt that much
It was only a paper cut
It’s only a paper cut, a paper cut

The more I give, the less I get
Sometimes I wish that we’ve never met
’Cause I was fine ‘til you broke through

But don’t worry baby I'll get over you...

By tomorrow, or the next day, or the next day, or the next day

I’m okay, I’ll be fine.
I only think about you half the time
Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah

I’m okay, I’ll survive.
I only think about you half of the time

All these tears, all those drops in the ocean baby
You never even cross my mind no, no
Boy you wish it hurt that much
It was only a paper cut
It’s only a paper cut, a paper cut
I’m okay, I’m okay

Misted Dessert

Manis kata, janjipun tak lupa
Baik hati, lakuanpun sahaja
Gurun keringpun mau saja
Tiada hujan, kesejukan apapun ditadah
Hanya awalan, semua tampak baik saja
Diselimuti baris kata yang manis menggoda
Ditambah janji berlapis
Padahal mana tahu lapis selanjutnya apa
Sudah kubilang, gurunpun merindu, jadi diterima saja
Jangan salahkan dia

Waktu, ya, karena waktu atau entah apa.
Kabut sejuk menunjukkan anomalinya
Bukan kesejukan lagi namun tanda-tanda
Ia tampak enggan dan berbeda
Gurunpun cemas dan curiga
Serta merta dan tiba-tiba, tak dinyana
Kabut menggulung kesejukan miliknya.
Tandus yang hampir basah bertanya 'mengapa?'
Kabut yang sejatinya memang begitu berkata,
'ini sifatku. datang dan pergi sesuka hamba. tidak ada cara dan tidak mungkin hamba berubah.'
Batu lembap dipenuhi lumut menyangga,
'jika begini sejatinya, mengapa kau menyejukkan gurunnya? kau membawa asa lalu kau melenyapkannya. kau mengusir hampa dan lihat sekarang, kau menebar sunyi sebelum bencana.'
Kabut memang semu, bersiteguh ia membawa kesejukannya.
Namun ya, panas terik, kering, senyap, gurun sudah mengalaminya.
Kepergian kabut hanya kepergian seperti hujan dan cuaca.
Gurun akan kembali terbiasa.

I Will Find My Drake

Healer

But time, time will really heal everything. Trust me on this. It will really heal. So let time heals and just sit back and relax and let things settle themselves. No matter how long it takes, just wait. Be patient, things will turn out fine.

www.officialblackalogy.blogspot.sg 

Hold My Middle Finger For You

At first I was like...

Eyes on fire, eyes on fire, and they burn from all the tears
I've been crying, I've been crying, I've been dying over you
Tie a knot in the rope, tryin' to hold, tryin' to hold

But when I was about to let go , you ended first.
I cried a little but then...

I think I've finally had enough, I think I maybe think too much
I think this might be it for us


I cried a little more but I'm trying to remind my self that I'm better off without him, that I'll be so so great without that someone-full of shit. So yeah...

I think that life's too short for this, I want back my ignorance and bliss
I think I've had enough of this

And I tell my self this...

I won't miss all of the fighting that we always did,

Take it in, I mean what I say when I say there is nothing left
No more sick whiskey dick, no more battles for me
You'll be calling a trick, 'cause you'll no longer sleep
I'll dress nice, I'll look good, I'll go dancing alone
I will laugh, I'll get drunk, I'll take somebody home

I might fall too deep but yeah now I know who's the jerk and who's  the foolish for believing all the show he put on and now..

I will do what I please, anything that I want
I will breathe, I will breathe, I won't worry at all
You will pay for your sins, you'll be sorry my dear
All the lies, all the why's, will all be crystal clear

Blow Me (One Last Kiss), P!nk

On Your Phone's Screen !

Only 19 days, yes you read it, yes you already read it. Only 19 days and it ended.
He punched my chest right through my back and my head spin with his text. He ended it via text. Fuck him, so so unbelieveable. I still don't know what to feel. Either regret, sad or embarassed.

And after few texts he sent I could only write some of my undefy feeling.

"Thanks for the honesty. Your method worked on me but yeah I figured it out. Thanks for the humiliation. Thank you for being another mistake. Have fun finding another victim. I hope you'd get tired of using the same method which turns you out to be a nasty serial killer. and by the way you suck !"

You're Just One Broken Heart Closer to Happily Ever After

Berilah Judul Karena Sejatinya Aku Juga Tidak Tahu

Berbagi rasa selama mungkin
Sekuat hati menanggung luapan
segala emosi yang melelahkan
Namun jika kau menyanggupi
lelah pun tertangguhkan

Ketika bianglala tak lagi menyenangkan
Ketika melodi tidak lagi menenangkan
Di sanalah kau berdiri dengan enggan
Di samping ku namun bungkam

Bukan senyummu
Melainkan punggungmu
Hangat terasa beku
Baik namun kaku
Apakah itu dirimu?
Maksudku apa benar itu dirimu?

Kalimat tidak terdengar manis lagi
Perlakuan tak lagi menyanjung hati
Sungguh sangat jelas kau menoreh degradasi
Karena apa aku tak tahu pasti

Apa karena waktu?
Ataukah memang sejatinya dirimu?
Yang jelas bukan aku
Karena di relung ini masih ada rindu
Yang tidak terucap, yang terbelenggu

Sit And Wait

November 13, 2012

The day when I feel like I'm really lost when I check my phone just to see his name on the screen but I can only sit and wait. Where is he?

There's You In It

What do you do when you're stuck,
Because the one that you love,
Has pushed you away,
And you can't deal with the pain,
And now you're trying to fix me,
Mend what he did,
I'll find the piece that I'm missing,
But I still miss him,
I miss him, I'm missing him,
Oh I miss him, I miss him, I'm missng him

And you're sitting in the front row,
Wanna be first in line,
Waiting by my window,
Giving me all your time,
You could be my hero,
If only I could let go,
But his love is still in me,
Like a broken arrow.
Like a broken arrow.

He's the thorn in my flesh
That I can't take out

He's stealing my breath
When you're around,
And now you're trying to convince me,
He wasn't worth it,
But you can't complete me,
He's the part that is missing,
I miss him, I'm missing him,
Oh I miss him I miss him, I'm missing him,

And you're sitting in the front row,
Wanna be first in line,
Waiting by my window,
Giving me all your time,
You could be my hero,
If only I could let go,
But his love is still in me,
Like a broken arrow.
Like a broken arrow.

What do you do
When your hearts in two places?

You feel great but you're torn inside.
You feel love but you just can't embrace it,
When you found the right one at the wrong time.

And you're sitting in the front row,
Wanna be first in line,
Waiting by my window,
Giving me all your time,
You could be my hero,
If only I could let go,
But his love is still in me,
Like a broken arrow.
Like a broken arrow.

Broken Arrow, Pixie Lott

Not Responsible

"Gravity is not responsible for people falling in love"

Albert Einstein 

Fire And Rain

Every fire need rain...

Life needs balance. When somebody is full of rage, the other one needs to be the ocean of patient. Nothing will be figured out, if the fire meets fire. You can imagine how big the mess would be if horrible flame burns down something. Therefore if you are now facing difficulties with your partner, you shall choose. Do you want to burn down everything or figure out the way out? Choose, whether you're the fire or the rain.

If I'm James Dean, You're Audrey Hepburn

Stay for tonight
If you want to
I can show you
What my dreams are made of,
as I'm dreaming of your face
I've been away for a long time
Such a long time
And I miss you there
I can't imagine being anywhere else

I can't imagine being anywhere else but here

How the hell did you ever pick me?
Honestly, I could sing you a song
But I don't think words can express your beauty
It's singing to me
How the hell did we end up like this?
You bring out the beast in me
I fell in love from the moment we kissed
Since then we've been history



They say that love is forever

Your forever is all that I need

♥ Read more at: http://operatorku.blogspot.com/2012/07/autotext-blackberry-lengkap-gokil-dan.html Copyright by operatorku.blogspot.com Terima kasih sudah menyebarluaskan aritkel ini

♥ Read more at: http://operatorku.blogspot.com/2012/07/autotext-blackberry-lengkap-gokil-dan.html Copyright by operatorku.blogspot.com Terima kasih sudah menyebarluaskan aritkel ini

♥ Read more at: http://operatorku.blogspot.com/2012/07/autotext-blackberry-lengkap-gokil-dan.html Copyright by operatorku.blogspot.com Terima kasih sudah menyebarluaskan aritkel ini

♥ Read more at: http://operatorku.blogspot.com/2012/07/autotext-blackberry-lengkap-gokil-dan.html Copyright by operatorku.blogspot.com Terima kasih sudah menyebarluaskan aritkel ini

Please stay as long as you need
Can't promise that things won't be broken
But I swear that I will never leave
Please stay forever with me

It goes to show, I hope that you know that you are
What my dreams are made of
Can't fall asleep, can't fall asleep
I lay in my bed awake, in my bed awake at night
As I dream of you
I'll fall in love, you'll fall in love
It could mean everything, everything to me
I can't imagine being anywhere else

They say that love is forever
Your forever is all that I need

Please stay as long as you need

Can't promise that things won't be broken
But I swear that I will never leave
Please stay forever with me

The way that we are
It's the reason I stay

As long as you're here with me
I know we'll be Ok

The way that we are
It's the reason I stay
As long as you're here with me
I know I'll be Ok

They say that love is forever
Your forever is all that I need
Please stay as long as you need

Can't promise that things won't be broken
But I swear that I will never leave
Please stay forever with me

(I couldn't love just anyone, I was created to love just one baby)
They say that love is forever

Your forever is all that I need

(I couldn't love just anyone, I was created to love just one girl)
Please stay as long as you need

(I couldn't love just anyone, I was created to love just one baby)
Can't promise that things won't be broken
But I swear that I will never leave
(I couldn't love just anyone, I was created to love just one girl)
Please stay forever with me

I Want You, Just You

Can't Deal Anymore

I just can't deal with disappointments anymore.

Ferris Wheel

October 27 2012 , 5:50 p.m

On Ferris Wheel he said that he didn't want to die. Falling from the height that made him scared. He was on to me, found a grip on my arm and another whimper came out.

"I dont want to die today, falling from this ride. I still have a lot love to give."

What a whiny-baby he was. I can't believe a sentence like that came out from a stocky, tall boy. I only laughed after he tightened his grip on my arm. When the ride reached the top, he started to pull everything together even though his brown eyes showed fear.

"isn't it too drama look alike? I mean we're on a ferris wheel, just two of us." I said frankly to his face which was only 10 cm from mine. His brown eyes was full of something, something that was so beautiful. In an instant, I was drowned.

He smiled to erase his fear of height but I could see the smile mean something too. While I was enjoying the color of brown , he asked me something.

"I dont want to die right now because I have something to ask.." he put a pause and I felt my heart beat recklessly and after seconds he finished his words.

"Would you be my girlfriend?"

Beside "yes" what else could I say. I like him and after everything that we've been through, to say "yes" was the right thing to do. So here we are, unite as one, as number 10 which appears after number 9, as alphabet I which stands before alphabet J. I feel like we are meant to be on that Ferris Wheel, we are meant to be in the same class for like a year but none of us cared with each's other existence.

Feel Lost Without That Someone

"This is the problem with getting attached to someone. When they leave you, you just feel lost." 

Zombieland (2009)