I suppose I Am Happy

Sometimes
I suppose I'm happy
like when I'm with my friends,
throwing my head back and covering my mouth
as I shake with laughter
at a joke someone just made

But then day turns to night
and my carefree grin turns into an unexplainable sadness,
etched on my face like a tattoo.
And I lay in bed,
thinking about all the things I wish I could say--
all the things I'm afraid to admit.
Even with only pen and paper and mind

It's night like these I realize.
I am many things.
I'm happy and sad,
outgoing and shy,
rambunctious and quiet

but mostly,
I am just empty.

I'll Set You Free

They say

If you love someone, set them free

The Brightest Star In Galaxy, Don't Leave

I'm sorry I cant even find words to say. This week has been the most devastating for me and about Kris seemingly leaving the boys is doing nothing right for me. Not to mention this is the first time i  become a die hard fan and this is not what I expected. Kris is my ultimate bias. No, no scratch that, He's my escape from the reality I'm living yet he said he is not happy with the state he's in.

I'm torn between rooting for his final decision (because that way he can have his freedom) and begging for him to stay so I can still have my way to escape this awful reality but that way he wont be happy and that sounds so selfish. So i dont know what to do. Im in the verge of losing the one and only escape.

I'm in a starless galaxy and the darkness is closing in

Help Me to Stop Thinking About It

cr weheartit

I'm The One

Phonecalls

031-7000-5171

It's amazing despite everything that I have to memorize, this phone number lingers forever in the back of my head. I even tried to reach you by dialing those number. I knew it was stupid but I did still hope you would pick up at the first ring because sometimes I just need to hear your soothing voice, telling me that everything is going to be okay.

08123163312

Another line to reach you. The other line was failed therefore I tried this one, wishing for a "Hello" from the other side. Mom, can you please pick up? I just want to say "Happy Mothers Day" and I love you, I miss you so much it hurts. Don't mind my frowned-face, ok? I was just having a bad day. You dont have to worry. You dont need to worry. Tell God that I feel very grateful to be your daughter. I thank you for bringing me into the world and Im sorry, really sorry that I didnt make you proud when I had my time. And i'll try to stop wishing for you to pick up the phone. I know I wouldnt need the phone just to reach you, because you're always inside my heart

Dear My Man

I like being independent
No one to tell me what to do
I like being by myself

But sometimes, I just want somebody to hold
Someone to give me their jacket when it's cold
Got that young love even when we’re old
Yeah sometimes, I want someone to grab my hand
Pick me up, pull me close, be my man
I will love you till the end

So if you’re out there I swear to be good to you But I’m done lookin’, for my future someone
Cause when the time is right,you’ll be here
God will give him to me someday
& I know it’ll be worth the wait.

Dear No One, Tori Kelly

May 7th Will Be The Day of EXO's Overdose Comeback

You can die happy or heave a relieved sigh, guys, because the comeback has been confirmed. EXO will finally and officially be releasing their MV and the album on May 7th. Due to the Sewol Ferry accident, they had to push back their comeback in order to offer condolences. Seems like EXO, itself will be the first big group to make a comeback.

Notification from Official SMTown Message Board

Hello.
We thank the fans who have waited patiently for EXO’s new mini-album ‘Overdose’.
After facing the sad news of the Sewol disaster, the release of the album that has been postponed due to our grieving and respect for the victims has been set to release properly on the coming 7th of May.
Let us, SM Entertainment and EXO, do our best from where we stand, so we can at least give you a little strength and hope as consolation during these hard times.
Once again, we gather our respects together with others for those who are grieving, and sincerely thank the fans who have patiently waited for the release of EXO’s new album.

Official SMTown Message Board

Also the boys will hold their first concert two days on 24-25 May , so maybe that's why they couldn't push back their comeback any further.

cr exochocolate

Strong & Happy

She needed to be strong if she wants to bring happiness into someone's life, she realized that

The Frozen Heart

EXO Makes The Fan Overdose On Their Brand New Trailer

It is not a fatal fantasy. It is in front of you, guys.

The full length MV will be released on the exact same day as their come back show in Jamsil.

Get ready

Hospital

I came to hospital today and i still felt stiff. No one was seriously ill. It was just my dad having a silly accident. Still, I had to be there for hours, waiting. I hated the strange smell of medication. it burnt my nose. oh and the cold. yeah especially the cold. It made that memory come rushing like a bull. like a big wave wanted to drown my sanity.

I loathed to come there, to hospital

EXO to Promote As Separate Unit

So much information to tell. I don't think I can hold it in my own head. I just got to share it here.

 

It's been all over the net. I mean the comeback news. Every fangirl knows that they are going to come back on April 15th in Jamsil. and the show itself will be broadcasted live via Samsung Music.

The boys will be promoting as twelve for one to two weeks and for the following activity they will promote separately. EXO-K in Korean and EXO-M in China. Okay...why do i write the obvious

For me it's kinda sad to see them divided into two. I'm used to watching them as a whole, as one. But they name them EXO-K and EXO-M not for nothing. That's the main purpose afterall, to promote either in Korea and China.

Well, till the next post!

Pull and Keep

I'll keep it to my self now. I'm just used to guys i like not liking me, so, whatever.

I tend to pull away when I get closer to a guy. I’m used to being hurt, you know?

Cupid's Match

Kevin and Kris' Lullaby

It's sad that I stumbled up on this beautiful self composed song just now. 

The song revealed by the ex trainee of SM Ent, Kevin Shin in his Souncloud page. It was recorded in 2009 when both of them were trainees.
Hear how their mom mean so much to them.

Download the song here

EXO Comeback Show Will Be Held On April 15th

cr http://exoyehet.com

Forget Kang Junho on Twitter. Forget Punkyspider on Instagram. Enough with the date speculation because it is confirmed that our boys are going to come back on April 15th. EXO will hold the showcase in Jamsil. Not only a day but three days, guys!! From 13th to 15th of April. Woohoo!!!!!! I'm so excited that I think I can do cartwheel while typing. Lol. They announced this news through Kakaotalk. In the picture is shown that twelve of them look incredible as usual with their new hairstyle. They also wear a white sweatshirt.



Now it's time for you, for us, for me! To have speculation party about their next comeback concept. I know some of you guys think that they will be separated into Angels & Demons and others think EXO will be divided into Boys & Men but let's wait until the day come!!!

I heard that the teaser will come on April 7th then the showcase will be held on 15th. There’s no official date on when their album will be released yet, but we’re hoping that it’s either on April 15th, or a day after. The boys is tight! I mean theirs schedule. Let's pray for their health, pray for your bank account. Mark your calendar, guys. Brace your self and your wallet! Yehet!

Another Speculation of EXO 2014 Comeback

Hi there, i'm back again. No one want to hear me blabbering about EXO so yeah here I am. So few days ago I post something about a SM Ent. Staff giving us a crucial hint of our 12 adorkable's comeback. He has given us two pictures so far but apparently that guy is fake. Some say he likes to steal someone else's photos. Hence we are asked not to fall for whatever that's on his mind.

Actually on the same day as I found the picture on Kang Junho's twitter, I also found an instagram update from one of EXO's stylist. He said, "The MV is not that hard to shoot....good location." And as for this one, I haven't heard a rumor about this stylist is fake or not.

cr http://exochocolate.livejournal.com/

EXO 2014 Comeback Is Real

Recently we have heard rumors and vague news about exo having a comeback this year. Not totally vague though because less than 24 hours ago the same SM staff who teased fans with a picure of two men working in a studio for EXO upcoming comeback, tweted a picture of, presumably, a set where a new music video recorded. He wrote, EXO 2nd Studio Album Coming Soon~ What a tease. However the generous man did not give us more detail about what album they are going to have, mini album or full album like what they released last June. 

Studio album? A mini one or full lenght ?

News not only come from the twitter land, I also found few pictures of the members on tumblr with their new hair and after I see the pictures. I was like...beyond ecstatic. Ugh!  God, i still cant believe it but some members are already getting new hairstyles and as for Kris , he got his hair cut and dyed back to blond. This news makes me go crazy and excited over Kris' new hair though the picture of him is vague (he was photographed wearing a hat). I cross my finger hard for his hair is cut short just like on wolf era. Because Kris and short hair are the most perfect combination! Oh but Kris is not the only one who is back being blonde, some say Luhan also has his hair dyed blonde and the same goes to Kai. Chen's hair is now black and shorter than before.

cr to the rightful owner

Speaking of their comeback, rumor has it that their concept will be a bad boy concept. But i havent found any proof as to that rumor. As long as it doesnt come from SM preps, let's not get hyper and all. The best thing we can do is to wait for more hint coming from that generous SM staff. Till the next post, guys ;)

18

Well can you guys please forget that i said i hated March 21st? Because you know today was not as bad as i thought, even though I cant do anything about aging. But God showered me with many blessings. From unexpected birthday greetings to failed surprise. Also a cheesy letter from my partner in crime and a dozen doughnuts from my crazy friends. Oh and the boys gave me a stop motion video. A cute one though they end it with an embarassing photo of mine but never mind. I couldn't ask for more.

Today's events made me realize that despite growing up is a hard thing to do, God will not let me get through the hardships alone. He has sent a bunch of loving humans, such as family and friends. And by hating my birthday is not the right way to be grateful. I should have been thankful born in the middle of caring people. Please forgive my previous post, my dear Lord.

Oh and HAPPY 18th BIRTHDAY TO ME

Sing Me

Cause all of me  

Loves all of you

Love your curves and all your edges

All your perfect imperfections

...
How many times do I have to tell  you

Even when you’re crying you’re beautiful too

 The world is beating you down, I’m around through every move

 You’re my downfall, you’re my muse

 My worst distraction, my rhythm and blues

 I can’t stop singing, it’s ringing, I my head for you

It would mean a world if he could sing it for me, as a birthday present.

No One Wants to Grow Up

4 days to go until 17 turns to 18.
Everyone keeps reminding me that four days from now is my birthday. I slightly hate that. Because come one, no one wants to grow up. Even Hayley said that growing up was a hard thing to do.
So yeah just let me forget my birthday