Have you heard about ex-friend?

Is it me or something else is weird. I never heard anything such as ex-friend.
I thought the word 'ex' was never fit to be put before the word 'friend'. I thought we were still friend despite of the cliff and the distance that making us a little bit far from each other. I have to confess-okay, frankly-I was angry and yeah a bit jealous because of what you did. But i'm trying to get rid off of it. Do people not know that I'm trying to change here?
Okay, making a distance like what I did back then, i was trying to put the fire out of me so I wouldn't be burnt down by the fire of anger and jealousy. Dear, friend-or yeah whatever you name it if you still count me as friend-don't say something was trying to burn down our friendship. I was the one who was searching for a new atmosphere to make my self better and not hating you for what you did. Honestly, I'm trying to make my self comfortable again around you but there's just something that make me stay away. It's in my blood. I do that a lot when somebody did me wrong. If you want to be friend again, please help to make your self feel comfortable around me and the rest, I will try to make my self so.

I don't want to lose anything anymore. It's enough to lose some boys who I cared so much but losing you?
Na-ah. I don't buy that. Please understand :)

love you, L