June 03, 2014

I suppose I Am Happy

I suppose I'm happy
like when I'm with my friends,
throwing my head back and covering my mouth
as I shake with laughter
at a joke someone just made

But then day turns to night
and my carefree grin turns into an unexplainable sadness,
etched on my face like a tattoo.
And I lay in bed,
thinking about all the things I wish I could say--
all the things I'm afraid to admit.
Even with only pen and paper and mind

It's night like these I realize.
I am many things.
I'm happy and sad,
outgoing and shy,
rambunctious and quiet

but mostly,
I am just empty.

May 15, 2014

The Brightest Star In Galaxy, Don't Leave

I'm sorry I cant even find words to say. This week has been the most devastating for me and about Kris seemingly leaving the boys is doing nothing right for me. Not to mention this is the first time i  become a die hard fan and this is not what I expected. Kris is my ultimate bias. No, no scratch that, He's my escape from the reality I'm living yet he said he is not happy with the state he's in.

I'm torn between rooting for his final decision (because that way he can have his freedom) and begging for him to stay so I can still have my way to escape this awful reality but that way he wont be happy and that sounds so selfish. So i dont know what to do. Im in the verge of losing the one and only escape.

I'm in a starless galaxy and the darkness is closing in

May 11, 2014



It's amazing despite everything that I have to memorize, this phone number lingers forever in the back of my head. I even tried to reach you by dialing those number. I knew it was stupid but I did still hope you would pick up at the first ring because sometimes I just need to hear your soothing voice, telling me that everything is going to be okay.


Another line to reach you. The other line was failed therefore I tried this one, wishing for a "Hello" from the other side. Mom, can you please pick up? I just want to say "Happy Mothers Day" and I love you, I miss you so much it hurts. Don't mind my frowned-face, ok? I was just having a bad day. You dont have to worry. You dont need to worry. Tell God that I feel very grateful to be your daughter. I thank you for bringing me into the world and Im sorry, really sorry that I didnt make you proud when I had my time. And i'll try to stop wishing for you to pick up the phone. I know I wouldnt need the phone just to reach you, because you're always inside my heart

May 10, 2014

Dear My Man

I like being independent
No one to tell me what to do
I like being by myself

But sometimes, I just want somebody to hold
Someone to give me their jacket when it's cold
Got that young love even when we’re old
Yeah sometimes, I want someone to grab my hand
Pick me up, pull me close, be my man
I will love you till the end

So if you’re out there I swear to be good to you But I’m done lookin’, for my future someone
Cause when the time is right,you’ll be here
God will give him to me someday
& I know it’ll be worth the wait.

Dear No One, Tori Kelly

May 06, 2014

May 7th Will Be The Day of EXO's Overdose Comeback

You can die happy or heave a relieved sigh, guys, because the comeback has been confirmed. EXO will finally and officially be releasing their MV and the album on May 7th. Due to the Sewol Ferry accident, they had to push back their comeback in order to offer condolences. Seems like EXO, itself will be the first big group to make a comeback.

Notification from Official SMTown Message Board

We thank the fans who have waited patiently for EXO’s new mini-album ‘Overdose’.
After facing the sad news of the Sewol disaster, the release of the album that has been postponed due to our grieving and respect for the victims has been set to release properly on the coming 7th of May.
Let us, SM Entertainment and EXO, do our best from where we stand, so we can at least give you a little strength and hope as consolation during these hard times.
Once again, we gather our respects together with others for those who are grieving, and sincerely thank the fans who have patiently waited for the release of EXO’s new album.

Also the boys will hold their first concert two days on 24-25 May , so maybe that's why they couldn't push back their comeback any further.

cr exochocolate

April 23, 2014

Strong & Happy

She needed to be strong if she wants to bring happiness into someone's life, she realized that

April 11, 2014

EXO Makes The Fan Overdose On Their Brand New Trailer

It is not a fatal fantasy. It is in front of you, guys.

The full length MV will be released on the exact same day as their come back show in Jamsil.
Get ready

April 09, 2014


I came to hospital today and i still felt stiff. No one was seriously ill. It was just my dad having a silly accident. Still, I had to be there for hours, waiting. I hated the strange smell of medication. it burnt my nose. oh and the cold. yeah especially the cold. It made that memory come rushing like a bull. like a big wave wanted to drown my sanity.

I loathed to come there, to hospital

April 02, 2014

EXO to Promote As Separate Unit

So much information to tell. I don't think I can hold it in my own head. I just got to share it here.

It's been all over the net. I mean the comeback news. Every fangirl knows that they are going to come back on April 15th in Jamsil. and the show itself will be broadcasted live via Samsung Music.

The boys will be promoting as twelve for one to two weeks and for the following activity they will promote separately. EXO-K in Korean and EXO-M in China. Okay...why do i write the obvious

For me it's kinda sad to see them divided into two. I'm used to watching them as a whole, as one. But they name them EXO-K and EXO-M not for nothing. That's the main purpose afterall, to promote either in Korea and China.

Well, till the next post!

March 31, 2014

Pull and Keep

I'll keep it to my self now. I'm just used to guys i like not liking me, so, whatever.
I tend to pull away when I get closer to a guy. I’m used to being hurt, you know?
Cupid's Match

Kevin and Kris' Lullaby

It's sad that I stumbled up on this beautiful self composed song just now. 
The song revealed by the ex trainee of SM Ent, Kevin Shin in his Souncloud page. It was recorded in 2009 when both of them were trainees.
Hear how their mom mean so much to them.
Download the song here

EXO Comeback Show Will Be Held On April 15th

cr http://exoyehet.com
Forget Kang Junho on Twitter. Forget Punkyspider on Instagram. Enough with the date speculation because it is confirmed that our boys are going to come back on April 15th. EXO will hold the showcase in Jamsil. Not only a day but three days, guys!! From 13th to 15th of April. Woohoo!!!!!! I'm so excited that I think I can do cartwheel while typing. Lol. They announced this news through Kakaotalk. In the picture is shown that twelve of them look incredible as usual with their new hairstyle. They also wear a white sweatshirt.

Now it's time for you, for us, for me! To have speculation party about their next comeback concept. I know some of you guys think that they will be separated into Angels & Demons and others think EXO will be divided into Boys & Men but let's wait until the day come!!!

I heard that the teaser will come on April 7th then the showcase will be held on 15th. There’s no official date on when their album will be released yet, but we’re hoping that it’s either on April 15th, or a day after. The boys is tight! I mean theirs schedule. Let's pray for their health, pray for your bank account. Mark your calendar, guys. Brace your self and your wallet! Yehet!

March 25, 2014

Another Speculation of EXO 2014 Comeback

Hi there, i'm back again. No one want to hear me blabbering about EXO so yeah here I am. So few days ago I post something about a SM Ent. Staff giving us a crucial hint of our 12 adorkable's comeback. He has given us two pictures so far but apparently that guy is fake. Some say he likes to steal someone else's photos. Hence we are asked not to fall for whatever that's on his mind.

Actually on the same day as I found the picture on Kang Junho's twitter, I also found an instagram update from one of EXO's stylist. He said, "The MV is not that hard to shoot....good location." And as for this one, I haven't heard a rumor about this stylist is fake or not.
cr http://exochocolate.livejournal.com/

March 24, 2014

EXO 2014 Comeback Is Real

Recently we have heard rumors and vague news about exo having a comeback this year. Not totally vague though because less than 24 hours ago the same SM staff who teased fans with a picure of two men working in a studio for EXO upcoming comeback, tweted a picture of, presumably, a set where a new music video recorded. He wrote, EXO 2nd Studio Album Coming Soon~ What a tease. However the generous man did not give us more detail about what album they are going to have, mini album or full album like what they released last June

Studio album? A mini one or full lenght ?

News not only come from the twitter land, I also found few pictures of the members on tumblr with their new hair and after I see the pictures. I was like...beyond ecstatic. Ugh!  God, i still cant believe it but some members are already getting new hairstyles and as for Kris , he got his hair cut and dyed back to blond. This news makes me go crazy and excited over Kris' new hair though the picture of him is vague (he was photographed wearing a hat). I cross my finger hard for his hair is cut short just like on wolf era. Because Kris and short hair are the most perfect combination! Oh but Kris is not the only one who is back being blonde, some say Luhan also has his hair dyed blonde and the same goes to Kai. Chen's hair is now black and shorter than before.

cr to the rightful owner

Speaking of their comeback, rumor has it that their concept will be a bad boy concept. But i havent found any proof as to that rumor. As long as it doesnt come from SM preps, let's not get hyper and all. The best thing we can do is to wait for more hint coming from that generous SM staff. Till the next post, guys ;)

March 21, 2014


Well can you guys please forget that i said i hated March 21st? Because you know today was not as bad as i thought, even though I cant do anything about aging. But God showered me with many blessings. From unexpected birthday greetings to failed surprise. Also a cheesy letter from my partner in crime and a dozen doughnuts from my crazy friends. Oh and the boys gave me a stop motion video. A cute one though they end it with an embarassing photo of mine but never mind. I couldn't ask for more.

Today's events made me realize that despite growing up is a hard thing to do, God will not let me get through the hardships alone. He has sent a bunch of loving humans, such as family and friends. And by hating my birthday is not the right way to be grateful. I should have been thankful born in the middle of caring people. Please forgive my previous post, my dear Lord.


March 20, 2014

Sing Me

Cause all of me  
Loves all of you
Love your curves and all your edges
All your perfect imperfections
How many times do I have to tell  you
Even when you’re crying you’re beautiful too
 The world is beating you down, I’m around through every move
 You’re my downfall, you’re my muse
 My worst distraction, my rhythm and blues
 I can’t stop singing, it’s ringing, I my head for you

It would mean a world if he could sing it for me, as a birthday present.

March 17, 2014

No One Wants to Grow Up

4 days to go until 17 turns to 18.
Everyone keeps reminding me that four days from now is my birthday. I slightly hate that. Because come one, no one wants to grow up. Even Hayley said that growing up was a hard thing to do.
So yeah just let me forget my birthday

March 15, 2014

Sneak Peek to EXO Comeback

Yesterday one of SM Entertainment staff, Kang Junho, has given us, the desperately waiting for comeback-fan, a sneak peek of the working process for EXO comeback this year on his twitter.

So it is not a hoax afterall. Do you hear me EXO stan? It's not a rumor, guys. Now go save some of your money

Counting Ifs

We can always keep counting the ifs,
We all could have done something differently, but thinking about it now won't change a thing. What is done is done, and what was left undone will remain undone,

If it could bring him back, I would count all the ifs in the world

Yeah. And I would help you count them once more

March 03, 2014

[PREVIEW] Running Man Episode 188

Here is something just to tease you :)))
and it is unfortunate that Lee Jong Suk is not a guest in this episode but as long as he is getting better so yeah it's okay.

February 26, 2014

EXO Will possibly Come Back with 2nd Studio Album In 1st Half of 2014

Despite the big exam that awaits for me just around the corner, there are so many good news to ease my anxiety. First Big Bang and now this is even greater. My twelve gorgeous idiotic idol will possibly have their comeback!

As written on allkpop, EXO will be releasing their 2nd studio album in the first half of this year!! Yehet!! Oh plus the second half of 2014, EXO will be doing full-scale promotions in China. That means more Krease!!! /does happy dance/ Though honestly I dont know how this news will affect me regarding my high school will end with a very important exam which will be held less than two months from now. Either it will cause laziness, because i'd definitely seek more details about the news and abandon my text book, or it will be my motivation to study harder. I don't know~

Anyway, I'm beyond happy to know two of my favorites kpop musician will be back with new music and performance. Big bang will definitely have their comeback on July or august but I dont know whether exo comeback is just another rumor. Because their company's reps hasn't confirmed it. So there is also a chance this news means nothing nonetheless i hope not. On the other hand, one of netizen commented on allkpop, she claimed to know something that prove this news is not just another rumor spread by desperate fans.

But then again, who knows? Let's just wait patiently, shall not we?

source: allkpo

February 23, 2014

What The Hobbits Say

Found this on my Tumblr dashboard. It is something pretty much I can relate to /laughing/

February 22, 2014

Monday Couple is Destined

I think I've bombarded my own blog haha. I have so many things to tell. This time is about Running Man, to be exact, it's about Monday Couple. Their famous on screen relationship is not a joke. Everyone wants them to get together for real, not only the fans but also the Running Man's member want them to unite as one. On episode 183, they had an episode which the member and the guests had to guess who are the fated couple amongst them. To make the episode more entertaining, the staff even invited a fortune teller. The first fortune teller didnt talk much about how compatible the couples are. He only talked about the member and the guest's fortune in 2014. Yoo Jae Suk is the one who has the greatest fortune this year.

Okay, since i will only talk about our Monday Couple, i'd cut the crap short. At the last stage of the game, the member and the guests had their last chance to arrange the couple. First couple to be chosen as the fated couple was kwang soo and Actress Ju Min Soo. I dont why they end up being a pair. The second pair was Jong Kook and Uhm Jung Hwa, they named this couple as Sexy Couple. These two have a big chance to be real, to be together in real life because the fortune teller had told them earlier that Jong Kook needed a woman with big eyes and Jung Hwa herself was told she would need a man with small eyes. But personally, I prefer Jong Kook to end up with a younger woman and I wish he would end up with Go Ha Ra. Lol. Watch That Winter The Wind Blows Episode and you'll know what I;m talking about /wink/

Monday Couple was the third couple to stand on the platform. Song Ji Hyo clung onto Gary tightly. All I could do that time was smiling. Knowing Ji Hyo must be really scared of falling off the platform they stood on and thank God, Gary was there to hold her. The fourth couple was Suk Jin and Actress Moon So Ri. The last was Jae Suk and Haha.

Dongsaeng and Noona couple was fated. The fortune teller said if they had been together, they would have made a compatible couple. Kwang soo was a tree which needed water to grow and Min Soo Nuna was the water. Sexy couple was also fated. The fact that they really compatible gave me goosebumps. Then came Monday Couple's turn. Ji Hyo's hand that clung on to Gary was tighter than before. There was one time Gary laid his head on Ji Hyo's head and that was when my squeal went wild.
Look how scared Ji Hyo was while Gary was slightly enjoying:)

Turned out Monday Couple was also fated...
That was the moment when everyone sort of telling them to date. They even told them to get married. After they announced Monday Couple was fated. It was the time a fortune teller gave explanation as to why they were fated.

 The reason was not that strong but it gave me goosebumps but still.

In the end they were able to guess all the couple right. So they didn't punished with falling off the platform.
This episode proved that Ji Hyo and Gary's chemistry are undeniable. Therefore they need to be together. Off and on camera :)

cr: kshownow, facebook

Big Bang to Come Back This Summer

Listening to Big Bang's Haru Haru makes me miss the band to perform as a whole with new album. I need to be surprised by their music talent like what they did to me with their Alive album and fortunately YG entertainment won't keep VIPs waiting for too long. Because During the “2014 Big Bang +A in Seoul” concert held on January 26th, G-Dragon revealed that Big Bang will make a comeback this summer. Not only GD, but also the head of YG Entertainment, Yang Hyun Suk, talked about the come back.

In the afternoon on January 26th, after the end of BIGBANG’s concert in Seoul, Yang held a press meeting in a restaurant located in Bangi-dong, Songpa-gu, Seoul. In the meeting, he said, “I’m thinking about BIGBANG’s comeback with a regular album in this summer. I think it will be in July or August.”

When the head of the company itself has talked about the comeback that wouldn't make the news a hoax, right? Because one of Big Bang's member, Seungri, has also given the fans a hint about Big Bang's come back plan when they were performing in Japan on February 21st. He said, "We want to release an album this summer. We want to show our faces as the five of us on TV and events."

Now who's excited?  :)

source: allkpop, soompi, yg life

Big Bang's Haru Haru

Look what I've found. 
I know the song has already existed since 5 years ago but come on...
The whisper GD did at the beginning of the song is...

February 19, 2014

Hottest Men Will Appear As Guests on Running Man Australia Special

Hi, there Running Man Fans. I'm sorry i was on hiatus for awhile. I will make it up to you guys with this post.

Okay, brace your self. I'll start with the latest news


Running Man will have another abroad special episode and this time is Australia. The recording will be held on February 22nd.

It's been confirmed that the two greatest men in korean entertainment--Kim Woo Bin and Rain--will appear on Running Man Australia Special and to add the excitement, Kim Woo Bin's ex co-star, Lee Jong suk will also appear as a guest.

 On February 19th, DC Star, Rain's Rep, stated that he will depart for Australia on 22nd.

Same goes with Kim Woo Bin. His agency rep saidrep told MyDaily, "Kim Woo Bin has been confirmed to appear on the 'Running Man' Australia special. He will depart on the 22nd."
As for Lee Jong suk, his  reps told Star News on the 19th, "Lee Jong Suk has been confirmed to feature on the 'Running Man' Australia special but he was diagnosed with swine flue on the 18th so he has to focus on receiving treatment... We will have to observe Lee Jong Suk's health condition prior to the departure date."

source: allkpop

At First...

cr: rightful owner

EXO is My Own Personal Dopamine

You know what has been producing dopamine for my brain?

This guys did it. They've been producing much dopamine and give pleasure to my over-worked brain. This bunch of idiots named EXO has made my day since three months ago. I like this group because they have many talents. The vocalists' voice are amazing. Not only the vocalists tho, the rest of the guys have descent voice too. I am so into their songs.  Though i don't understand the meaning behind the lyric. Try to listen to Angel, Don't Go, Baby Don't Cry, XOXO, their famous Growl, My Turn To Cry, The First Snow. Most of their songs are great. Oh and not to mention their dance performance and their looks. These twelve guys are exceptionally beautiful. And the last, they have this distinct talent. One time they can look like some bunch of idiots, retarded-guys but sazaaam in the blink of an eye, they turn into a group of normal guy with extraordinary looks. It's amazingly weird but i guess that's their charm.

Out of twelve, there is one guy who caught my attention. No scratch that. He caught my heart too. He has caused too much mini heart attack and hyperventilating to me. He does not only occupy the space in my laptop's storage but also my mind. He is too good to be true and his name is Kris Wu. He should be sentenced to death if looking good was a criminal. I mean look at him!

Don't fall for his smile,please. It's just his facade. He is well-known for his signature bitch face.
Look at that face
Yeah keep doing that, Kris!
Bitch Face Expert
That guy above may have the sweetest smile yet he also known to have the most obnoxious and cold expression but who cares if he is 187 cm, speaks four languages,and he can rap? I bet you dont even mind his bitch face after all. Lolz.

January 21, 2014

A Letter

Hi there, mom. How is it going up there? It’s 2014 here, is it the same over there? How are you? Have you been good? How is your hair now? Have they grown out? Still frizzy ? Oops im sorry I don’t mean to tease you, mom, but seriously it looked good on you. You’d always look good in every haircut even when you were bald back then .Okay, okay, I should stop. Why am I babbling about silly stuffs? Hahaha maybe it’s because of me missing you. That is all.

I guess I’m going to babble a lot this time hehe just to keep you informed if you haven’t taken glance down on the earth, I mean on me, on your family. If you wondered about how I’ve been doing, well I’m eventually fine here. I’ve been through a lot of rollercoaster rides. So many ups and downs but I got out, mom. Those ups and downs cause me to change. Not literally change because I’m still tiny, 150cm and proud just like the last time you left. Maybe I lost some weights but it’s because of the diet. See? I finally did it. It’s unfortunate that you aren’t to see me wearing those skirt with confidence. Well, it’s always been unfortunate since four years ago. 

I miss your presence, mom. I miss it when I went home and you sat on the couch in the living room. And then you’d scold me because I tossed my things carelessly. Well, I haven’t changed, mom, I’m sorry if I still do the usual tossing around things after I get home from school. But it releases my stress to be honest. Blame school, mom! And by the way, I will finish high school in less than three months. The big exam is just around the corner and you know what? I’m confused. I haven’t been sure about the what faculty I should choose but chill! I pick English literature as my top option but still, I’m not sure if I can get in. Therefore I’m scared…

God, Ive never been this scared and confused. I need you. I need your lecture, your scold, your comfort. I need you to say that everything is going to be okay. I know it is cliché and everyone could say it to me, but it’d be great if it came out from you. But that is just soo impossible. I know..
Well, mom, I;m sorry if this letter speaks too much insecurity of mine. I know you wouldn’t want me to be weak but I’m sorry, I’m just scared. Speaking of the impossibility, well I guess I just have to be strong like I’ve always been.

I guess this is it, Mom. I need to go back to the pile of books waiting to be read. I love you and I always will.  Please, be well. Oh, and tell Mr.God to keep blessing me with good things. Till the next letter.

January 08, 2014

Kang Gary's Jacket Photo For His First Mini Album

Excited to see this?
Well, you're not alone.

Leessang company released this jacket photo for Kang Gary's first mini album. Instead of going with extravagant theme, he chose to go with his daily looks photo. This represents Gary's determination to show his skill  and talents without fabrication or decorations through his very first solo album. But I could care less. He looks amazing. He has his own charm. Lolz. 

Mr.Gae is a title of the song and also the title of his album. The album will be officially release on January 15th as in a week. I repeat, A WEEK or 7 DAYS from now. Really looking forward for Mr.Gae's musical talents.

cr : http://www.soompi.com