Day 7

It's been a roller coaster after the text you sent.
First day, second day, I was trying hard not to show the effect of an end and I did it.
The following days were pretty busy for social activity of mine and it kept me from thinking.
The fourth day, the first day of school after a long weekend Islamic New Year holiday. Before I went to school , I got anxious and worry because when you said that you want it to end, we hadn't seen each other whilst like in an hour, dad was ready to drive me. I had nothing to do but to convince my self that everything is going to be okay even though I knew that the probability of not having a social interaction with you, was one in a million because we still have a year to be classmates.
I've been trying to get used to with the curious eyes. I see question and concern in the eyes of my mates. at first I didn't want to respond to their attention but that'd be rude. So yeah I try my best to retell the story and try to feel fine whenever the hole inside of me is asking more attention, though I feel uncomfortable to be questioned about us but I can't runaway from them.
it's been a week but I don't know if it gets any better or else because not like the first nor the second days, I've been replaying back our moments and feel a little bit lost. There is a part of me that says I'll waste my time to even think about you but the other part is more like the weak. She still misses the time when we were just two little lovebirds.
I guess even though I post so many crap about being strong after going through a break up, actually I still feel it, the sensation of the first time reading the text you sent to end the shit. I have a hole inside of me now, complete with a scar, thanks for that and yeah I still remember the scent of your jacket which has ability to break me in a snap. Sometimes when my mind drifts away, it has nowhere to go but to a place where I store our memories and I have to keep reminding my self that I should hate every piece of them because what we had back then is all made up.

But I know I'll be okay. I just don't know when. and that time, I won't even flinch at your name ever again . I'll go on even if the most familiar things try to pull me to the past, I'm sure that I would have been even better, I'll be careful not to fall in love with the wrong guy, I'll be smarter and we will be classmates with no social interaction if that's what you want us to be. I won't care